***The crowd cheers as the Coldsnakes theme echos through the arena. After a moment, a disheveled and stressed out Mighty (Junior) Cobra (Cobra) steps through the entrance ramp and begins making his way to the ring. He nods and pumps his fist as he approaches the ring, as if trying to psych himself up, but not having much success. Once in the ring, he pulls an entire microphone from inside the front of his tights and taps on it to make sure it’s on. He then looks up at the crowd and flashes a strained smile.***
COBRA: “What’s up Arkansas?!”
***The Sacramento crowd murmurs uneasily to themselves.***
COBRA: “Ya know… I’m gonna be real with y’all. This hasn’t been the easiest season for ya boy Mighty C. Usually I’ve got my best buddy Anaconda by my side, helping me sort through this jumble of marbles in my noggin. For the past 18 years, the big guy has been right there next to me whenever things got weird. But ever since that Jack-hole Spencer Watts broke my main man’s arm on Assault, nothings been the same. I tell an amazing zinger, and there’s nobody by my side to spit milk out his nose holes. I take a tumble and scrape my jimmies on the cobblestone, and there’s no upsettingly large hands to pat me on the shoulders until my jimmies stop throbbing. For the first time in nearly two decades I’ve been all alone. And let me tell you, it’s a scary place inside my brain when I’m all alone.”
***Cobra shivers and shakes his head.***
COBRA: “Now it ain’t always gonna be like this. I gotta keep reminding myself that Anaconda’s gonna come back real soon… and when he does, everything’s gonna be just like it was. Things will get better… but… I don’t know if it’s gonna be in time for what I’ve gotta do. Ya see… one thing that I keep circling back around to in my head is that Spencer Watts has gotta pay for what he’s done. He’s just GOTTA. He’s gotta be made to feel some of the pain he’s dolled out to me and to Anaconda and to the everyone in the Light Heavyweight division this past season. He’s gotta be set straight for what he’s done to the Light Heavyweight title for the past six weeks! He’s gotta have his big fat mouth shut for all the misery he’s given to the PWA Armada… and I just don’t think I can wait for Anaconda to get back to administer some swift, ass-kicking JUSTICE. Even if I have to go it alone… I’m gonna take it to that blue jean and wife-beater wearing asshat… and I’m gonna take his Light Heavyweight Title while I’m at it!!”
***The crowd cheers and Cobra starts marching around the ring.***
COBRA: “Yo Watts! You hearing this? You may think that Mighty Cobra is some joke… you think me and Anaconda are just a couple comedy clowns who are in it for the yucks?! Dill-hole, do you have any idea just who the ‘eff I is? I’m Mighty Freakin’ Cobra!”
***The crowd begins cheering louder and louder as Cobra fires up.***
COBRA: “That’s right! I’m a TWO-TIME PWS Tag Team Champion! I’m a former PWS Cruiserweight champion! I freakin’ invented the PWS Lightweight title! And I was a member of the biggest baddest faction the wrestling world ever saw!”
***Cobra starts pumping his fist and running around the ring.***
COBRA: “And here in PWA… I’m not only a former tag champ, but I’m the first ever guy to hold the coveted Derrik Arzon Championship Title! I’ve INVENTED more titles than Watts has held in his entire career!!”
***Cobra jumps up onto the middle rope.***
COBRA: “Yeah, yeah this is gonna work! Spencer Watts, I’m coming for your Light Heavyweight Championship! You called down the lightning, but are you ready for the thunder?! Because when I get you in the ring, one-on-one, I’m gonna…”
***Just then, Cobra is clobbered from behind by Spencer Watts! Watts smashes the dirty and battered PWA Light Heavyweight Championship into Cobra’s lower back as he stands on the middle rope facing the crowd! Cobra tumbles out over the top rope and goes crashing to the thin mat on the arena floor. He howls in pain and grabs at his back and neck. Watts sneers down at him as the crowd. The champ rolls to the floor and crouches over the dazed and injured Cobra.***
WATTS: “Some superhero you are.”
***Watts picks Cobra up and runs him hard into the ringside barrier. He looks around and grabs a microphone.***
WATTS: “You make me sick. You realize that don’t you? All fired up and ready to ‘fight for what’s right.’ Believe me, I know the script. I was just like you. You think that because you come out here and talk a big game about fighting for some cause, the suits in the back will jump up and hand you what you want. You think a champ like me owes you something and you just gotta get fired up and passionate and BOOM, supercard match!”
***Watts reaches down and sits Cobra up looking him in his glazed over eyes***
WATTS: “News flash boy! Nobody owes you a damn thing! I fought every night for an entire season and still didn’t so much as get a consideration for the title hunt!”
***He kicks Cobra in the chest and grinds his boot in as he grits his teeth***
WATTS: “Now with that being said, I sympathize with your moxie, Cobra. I really do.. So Myself and Marty Dinkle have a way you can earn your spot. Someone that’ll make you feel like you wrestled a whole season in one match.”
***Watts reaches down and pulls Cobra up by the eye holes of his mask***
WATTS: “Now I’m not gonna Spoil anything for ya… That’s not the kinda man I am… Good luck ‘Super Hero’.”
***Watts drops the mic on Cobra and takes his belt and exits through the crowd***