Love Hurts

[Stu]

*** Hallway, going to the ladies' locker room. TITUS LOVE walks toward the locker room door, but stops when he sees a man he doesn't know with a gorgeous, intricate armfull of flowers get to the door. The delivery man turns and faces Titus.***

TITUS LOVE: “Ah yes... my adoring fans. You clearly want an autograph.”

DELIVERY MAN: "Uh... no, no. Just making a delivery.”

TL: “Ah of course! Flowers! These are just my color. Thank you kindly.”

DELIVERY MAN: “Uh, again, no. These are a delivery for Ms. Cynthia Love."

TL: “Ah yes, my mistake! These must be the flowers that I ordered for Cynthia.”

***Titus pauses for a long moment as his brain attempts to make a connection.***

TL: “Wait a minute... I didn’t order any flowers.”

*** Titus Love shoves the delivery man back as he rips the large bouquet from his hands. The delivery man scurries away as Titus finds the card, which he reads just as his wife CYNTHIA LOVE opens the door. Cynthia raises an eyebrow as Titus reads aloud from the card.***

TITUS: "... My dearest Cyn, I still have fond musings and muscle soreness from our evening together this Thursday past. Looking forward to our next Cyn-ful physical exertion. Sweetest regards ... BART BECKETT!?"

*** Cynthia blushes and snatches the card away.***

CYNTHIA: "Oh, give me that, you silly-billy." *** quietly rereads it *** "P.S., I still have your clothes in my bag."

TITUS: “Clothes in his bag? Muscle soreness?Cyn-ful exertion? Cynthia... have you been... WORKING OUT with another man?!”

CYNTHIA: "No, honey, of course not! We were just... oh wait. You’re not going in the direction I thought you would with that. Yes, yes we were just working out. You know, that Bart isn’t such a bad guy, really. Rather charming. He even asked about your mother-"

TITUS: “Working out with Brawler Beckett?! That is OUR sacred time together! All those hours spent spotting each other during squats and bench presses! The oiled-rubdowns! The full-length mirror posing sessions! The least he could have done was invite me along! I could have helped him with his form! This is an outrage!”

*** Titus slams his hand against the locker room door, leaving a dent, and storms off. Cynthia starts picking up the flowers, smiling, and humming the 1812 Overture to herself ***