Marty Dinkle Offers a Prediction

[Stu]

*** a press conference is gathered. Over the meetings of sports reporters, MARTY DINKLE steps up to the podium, bumpi g it just enough to illicit a moment of strong feedback ***

MARTY DINKLE: "Gentlemen, I have called you all here to make a statement. As you know, not long ago, the mighty Mangas suffered an injury inn the ring. It was thought to be a mere stinger, but proved to be a more serious injury, an oternal impairment of the first and second vertebra located in the spinal portion of his backbone. This nearly had a deleterious effect on Dinkle International Enterprises' chance to represent this fine promotion as its inaugural 6-man tagteam champions.

"However, comma, I am pleased to announce that, through a combination of intestinal fortitude and ancient Mongolian healing techniques, Mangas is in fine feddle, fit as a fiddle, and never felt feddler . As a result, the presence of D.I.E. in the continuing competition is ahunnert & ten percent secured.

"Also, as the numbers clearly show, my boys are the top contenders in the approaching showdown. Oh, sure, there are others who come close enough to make this seem like a tie, but the numbers AND the in-ring performance of D.I.E. makes the outcome unquestionable. I've discussed it at length with my boys and they agree. Mr. Yamasaki even posited that it would be a clean sweep for us from here out, noting the resemblance between out current endeavor and the tactics used by the late Alaric against the forces that tried to impede his Gothic forces at the gates of Rome.

"I think it was the well-known philosopher Freddy Kitsmire who once said, 'To the victors go the spoils; to the coward, a thousand deaths.' Well, my boys ain't dead, despite the great savagery they have faced in the ring. Now, I will open tbe floor for questions."

REPORTER #1: "Mr. Dinkle, is it true that-"

MD: "I know just what you are going to say, and it is a malicious lie! Do you even KNOW what the word 'congenital' means? I assure you, she was nowhere near my congenitals on the evening in question, and even if she did, I would NEVER have paid for it! The very idea! Budgies? Utterly ridiculous! Not here, not Sheboygan, nowhwres! This interview is OVER!"

***Dinkle storms off***