Get ready Samoan Storm... the FIERCE and DEADLY Coldsnakes are rock-hard and ready!

[Quillz]

***The scene opens in the halls of the PWA Arena. Broadcast Journalist Ronnie Stockholm is standing by with the FIERCE and DEADLY Coldsnakes, Junior (King) Cobra and Giant Anaconda (II).***

STOCKHOLM: “Ladies and gentlemen, PWA president and owner Damion Black has just announced the card for next week’s exciting edition of PWA Assault. We are down to the final stretch in the Beat-the-Clock Tag-Team Tournament, with only two matches left to go. Currently, the Samoan Storm of aMx is holding firm to a solid three-plus minute lead on the next fastest victory time. But this next weekend at Assault, the Coldsnakes will have one final opportunity to beat the Storm’s time when they go head-to-head with Tama and Talofa in exciting tag-team action.”

***Stockholm turns to a bouncing Junior Cobra.***

STOCKHOLM: “Junior Cobra, do you have any words for the PWA Armada regarding this upcoming title contention opportunity?”

***Junior Cobra snatches the microphone out of Stockholm’s hand.***

COBRA: “Well let me tell you something BROTHER, we’ve stared into the eyes of the demon and that demon’s name is... Tofa and... Tuffuuu and To... Tofurkey? Is that right? I’m not so good with Spanish. Anyway, when the FIERCE and DEADLY Coldsnakes go one-on-one with Turducken, we will show the world just why we are the reigning, defending, undisputed PWA Tag-Team Champions! So far this season, me and the big man are undefeated and we’re certainly not going to lose to that trio of wannabes. In six grueling matches, Anaconda and me have stood strong and hecka-long. Ain’t nobody gonna beat our winning time of eleven minutes and nine-hundred-eighty seconds. So whatcha gonna do home-skillet, when we make you cry for your mamma all night long baby?!”

***Stockholm just stares dumbfounded at Cobra for several seconds. Anaconda slowly raises a Big Gulp to his mask and takes a long draw from the straw while maintaining unblinking direct eye contact with Stockholm. Time passes.***

STOCKHOLM: “There’s... so much wrong with what you just said that I don’t even know where to begin.

COBRA: “That’s the magic of the Coldsnakes baby. We dazzle you with brilliance and then blind you with dogshit.”

STOCKHOLM: “Uh... isn’t the saying... ‘if you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit?’”

***Anaconda and Cobra both glance in a wet paper bag that Cobra is holding.***

COBRA: “No... I’m pretty sure I said it right the first time.”

***Stockholm takes a large step back from Junior Cobra.***

STOCKHOLM: “Anyway... um... when you face the Samoan Storm at Assault what sort of strategies do you plan on using to... ensure that you win the Beat-the-Clock challenge?”

COBRA: “Well Ronnie, it’s like this. We’re the mother-lovin’ Coldsnakes. We eat, breathe, sleep, and hump championship gold. We were BORN to be PWA Tag-Champs. And it doesn’t matter who we have to beat to prove that. The Samoan Storm are just two more chumps who won’t be able to close the deal in crunch time! Those twin turds think they are on Easy Street? Well think again! They’re on... they’re on... Dumbass Avenue, and... and that’s the home of the Coldsnakes!”

***Cobra and Anaconda strike a mighty pose, accidentally flinging their paper bad against the wall where it sticks with a wet squish. Stockholm looks over at the wet bag stuck to the wall, and then back at the fiercely-flexing Coldsnakes... and slowly backs away.***

[JohnnyX]

scene opens at an unfamiliar place. Area is a desolate place, with a fire burning and a cauldron boiling. In the cauldron can be seen an anaconda and a cobra boiling and cooking. Tama comes into frame and can be seen with another cobra wrapped around his neck. As the snake is about to bite him, he grabs it by the neck and snaps it and the snake dies, he tosses the snake into the cauldren.

He takes a sip of the soup and is satisfied with the taste.

Talofah walks into frame with a few bananas and he tosses it into the boiling cauldron. He looks into the camera and laughs. Then he motions a knife cut to the throat.

Talofah: o outou o tagata mamate! oti!

Tama: oti! O le a ou 'ai ia te oe e pei ona ou' ai nei gata!

scene fades to black as the Samoans grab some rice and eat the snakes