Promos for Assault 23 February 2019

[Snow]

Snow has just arrived at the arena, and is climbing out of his rental car when Terry Schneider shows up. Snow quickly checks to make sure his mask is secure and on his head before he turns to face the reporter.

SNOW: Good evening, Terry. What can I do for you tonight?

TERRY: Snow, I was hoping to get a couple words from you about the Blood Brothers match with AMX tonight.

SNOW: AMX...well, I don't think I'm admitting to anything people didn't already surmise when I say I don't like them much. Their personality...grates on me. But what they are, Terry, are fierce competitors. The Blood Brothers defeated them last time we faced off, and jAi defeated me just a couple weeks ago. Tonight is going to prove to be one hell of a fight, no matter which way it goes.

TERRY: And what of your proposal to jA1 after the last Assault?

SNOW: It was legitimate. AMX talks a big game about wanting all of the titles. Despite his short time here, jAi has proven himself in multiple promotions around the world, and his few matches here have shown that he hasn't lost a step during his time away. He wants the title shot, all he has to do is ask. And frankly, when it comes to the Tag Team titles, my personal opinion is that the winner tonight should be considered to be pretty close to the number one contender for those belts too. PWA has a thriving tag team division, but the Brothers and AMX are two of the best.

TERRY: Are you throwing your proverbial hat in the ring for that then?

SNOW: Not at all, Terry. On the other hand, if Damion Black were to see fit to offer us a shot, I doubt either Pantaro or I would turn it down. The same probably goes for the members of AMX.

TERRY: Interesting. Thank you for your time, Snow.

SNOW: Anytime. AMX, I'll see you in the ring.

[JohnnyX]

Disgusted by their loss, the aMx tries to regroup.

Ecks: yo dawg you aight? You lookin pretty beat up there.

Mj1: yo B, I had him mang, he was down for three and some how, that sumbutch kicks out and lays me out with that Pantherthing! My damn body hurts b.

Ecks: yeah man, I feel you. Then those idiots the snakes loss their gold and the damn brothers beat us. Ain't that something!

Man what ever, let's get right back up and gain some momentum. We need to start winning. You need to cool yahself, you are too excited tryin tah hit yer OGC all the time. Take some time and then blam! Hit them outtaknowwhere!!!

Mj1: yo B, we had that match, they gots lucky tah escape. But man that pantherthing hurts, gonna have tah show el panthermang he ain't the one who can fly. And yeah mang Armando estradas the new tag champeens. We gotta show this union shit that we ain't messin around and we wants that gold too!

Ecks: yeah man, you right, we wants some gold, sucka! Armadillos!!! We comin for you ninjas!!!

Mj1: yo b, they's ninjas b? Like poison dart spittim ninjas?

Ecks: yeah fool. The poisonus kind fool! It was just an expression! The hell is wrong wid you?!

Mj1: yo B! I don't mess with no ninjas man, I saw that movie starring Alex Prime, Ninja Assassination! It was not a fun one. Poor Alex looked like he was getting his ass whipped! B!!!

Ecks: man, that's your peoblem, you went to watch an Alex Prime flick. That dude is like a turd, blowin in da wind! He sucks ass!!! Just like the new tag champs, they suck! They suck donkey d*ck!!

Mj1: yo B, don't be hatin pn Alex Prime! He a legit actor mang! And remember he was also a PWS champeen!!

Ecks: I remember foo! We locked up that title of his remember? Anyway get back on track foo! Besides I gotta go call Michelle J about her dancing moves man.

Mj1: Mang! You and yer girls! Let's go B, I need to ice up my back and my neck. Panthermang! When you gonna give me a shot, B? I earnt a right to fight you one on one!

Scene fades to black

[JohnnyX]

Mj1 and Ecks look at that promo from Snow.

Ecks: well, it looks like we got a shot bro.

Mj1: I say let's take it B! Panthermang and Snowmang! Let us do this mang!!!

Ecks: yeah we got something we gotta do still! We taking it and we accept that challenge suckas!!!

Mj1: fo reals B!!! Panthermang I still want a shot!!! Hook up yer boy with a shot, B!

Scene fades to black

[Stu]

*** Immediately following ASSAULT, a sweaty RONNIE LASSITER is met by TERRY SCHNEIDER in the backstage halls … ***

TERRY SCHNEIDER: “Ladies and gentlemen, an upset victory for Ronnie Lassiter against K. B. Kronic tonight on PWA Assault and it’s on to the King of Deathmatch final against Tiger Fury! Ronnie, I can think of little else to say but ‘What a match!’ And a short one at that! Very impressive, considering the talk he gave before the match!”

RONNIE LASSITER: “Don’t sell him short, Terry. Mr. Kronic is one Helluva wrestler, and a tough one at that. The fact is, I had to make that match as short as I could. It may have come off like a one-two-three and done, but I’m here to tell ya he made me earn that match tonight. I wouldn’t have no reason to be proud of what I did tonight otherwise, but I wanna say, K. B., you know and I know that was one of the toughest matches I ever fought, and I’ll lick any man who says otherwise! I don’t care what promotion you come from, you’re a top-notch guy, and Fury, you better be ready! I want your best, and you can be damned sure you’re gonna get mine!”

[Stu]

*** Locker Room, two days after Assault. After a workout, RONNIE LASSITER sits on a steel bench, towel around his neck, looking down at the floor. His mentor and partner, the MASKED SHOOTER, dressed in shorts, a T-shirt, and his mask, walks past to his locker, putting his kit away. An uncomfortable moment of silent passes, then … ***

THE MASKED SHOOTER: “You did well, the other night against Kronic. Good technique, good strategy. Carried yourself well. I’m proud of how you’ve been doing, Ronnie. Couldn’t be prouder if you …

*** Shooter notices that Ronnie is looking down at the floor, fidgeting nervously. ***

“What is it, son?”

RONNIE LASSITER: “Boss, I- *sigh* What’s gonna happen between you and the Assassin? I mean, everyone knows there’s been a long grudge between the both of you, and-”

MS: “That’s my own business, boy. I’ll handle it how I see fit.”

RL: “While other guys get hurt?”

MS: “How is that my problem?”

RL: *** stunned look on his face *** “How- how? Boss, he’s crippling these guys, and he says he’ll only stop if you face him! He has -”

MS: “He has an ego and an advantage. One of those can be fought, but I sure ain’t fighting him on his terms.” *** closes locker *** “You think I’m afraid of him, too, don’t you?”

*** Ronnie opens his mouth to answer, but hesitates, then …***

RL: “You don’t seek him out, even if you did tell him to come and find you. You don’t bother to go out and face him when he and his personal Frankenstein are busy crippling someone. And … and … maybe … maybe you aren’t afraid of him. Maybe you’re just getting …”

MS: “‘Too old?’”

RL: *** stands and faces Shooter*** “Well?”

*** Shooter locks eyes with the taller man. ***

MS: “Let’s get one thing straight, boy. I don’t owe anyone around here a damn thing, and that includes you. I was a champion representing this great sport back when the only pins you were worried about were the ones holding your diaper on.
“You know why I wear this mask?

“I wear it to keep my ego out of the match, to remind me and the fans that it ain’t about me, it’s about the sport, it’s about the competition. My pride, my place, got no business in the ring. You gotta be clear, clean, to make a worthy win, selfless! That’s what this mask stands for, the purity and discipline of the sport of wrestling!

“The Assassin? He is everything I hate that’s infected this sport!”

RL: “The why don’t you do something about him!?”

MS: “On his terms? Let him set the field? Let him bully me into -

RL: “So you just run? Or side-step, or whatever makes you feel better? He’s breaking these guys, crippling them, ending their careers!”

MS: “That’s right! Yeah! HE is doing it, the ASSASSIN! That’s what he does! That’s what he’s always done! That’s what he’s doing here, that’s what he did in Japan to-”

*** Shooter stops, a look of … horror? Anger? … in his eyes. Lassiter steps back. Shooter sits down, staring into the past ***

MS: “Matt “the Ringer” Sampson was a good egg, good wrestler. A good competitor. We wrestled each other, we tag-teamed, we had each other’s back on more than one occasion. When the Assassin came along, it was plain what he was about. I knew the best thing to do was not give that disgrace the time of day, but Matt … Matt went toe-to-toe with him at the first chance … just like the Assassin knew he would. I was at the Budokan, a guest at a ceremony that night, eighty miles away. When I saw the footage later … that wasn’t a match. It was a butchery. He beat the dog out of Matt, then kept beating him. I hate cage matches …

“Matt was an unconscious, bloody mess, a horror movie, when the Assassin … pulled him up into a chin-lock and pulled until ....

“Matt’s spine snapped.”

*** silence ***

MS: “The release that Matt signed, and the Japanese system at the time, kept charges from being pressed. Matt walked again, about fifteen years later, but he never wrestled again. I left, two days after the match, for a pre-arranged obligation, but I refused to go back to Japan as long as HE was wrestling there. He called me coward, whole nine yards, but … what this mask stands for kept my head clear, so I didn’t think with my ego. Make no mistake, the Assassin is a master ambusher. I ain’t setting my foot in a snare just because I’m invited to.”

RL: “But the guys that he’s hurting …”

MS: “That’s his choice, and it’s Black’s choice to let him stay. Don’t let yourself get pulled into any of those camps. We aren’t here to play games, business or otherwise. PWA, Union, doesn’t matter. They ain’t why we’re here. We’re here to wrestle.”

RL: “Then why don’t you wrestle the Assassin?”

MS: “Oh, I will, someday. I don’t think I can avoid it, now. He keeps showing up like a cancer. I’ll have to cut him out, sooner or later, but not on his terms. Not on his say so. Not if I can help it.”

*** Ronnie still looks doubtful. Shooter stands, stretches, and puts on a sweatshirt. Picking up his bag, he starts to leave, but stops. ***

MS: “Ronnie?”

RL: “What?”

MS: “Frankenstein wasn’t the creature.”

RL: “Huh?”

MS: “When you said that the Assassin had his own personal Frankenstein? Frankenstein wasn’t the Creature.” *** opens the door *** “Dr. Frankenstein was the monster.” *** leaves ***

[JohnnyX]

Johnny Ecks and the Mysterious jAi 1 are seen discussing about what their next move will be.

Mj1: yo B, we gotta come up wid a plan.

Ecks: Son! We got a plan, like seriously asuper seriously serious plan.

Mj1: does it involve some steel chairs, B?

Ecks: Well yeah, of course it does! Not to mention well, let me say this. We ain't alone in this fight. Yah dig?

Mj1: yo B! You ain't mentionin that! No more ninjas aight! You done messed widmah head wid dem ninjas B!

Ecks: ummmm, yeah no foo! No ninjas here! Stop mentionin Alex Prime and shit, he is the worst B lister actor on this planet!

Mj1: yo B! Planet Prime was a legit movie!!! He shoulda won an ozcar!!!! I cried at the end of that movie B!

Ecks: you sissy bitch! You cry at every Alex Prime movie and you always say he deserves an oscar. When what he deserves is a beat down!

The last time that mofo was relevant was when president Ichinose was suckin and bringing down PWS! Eddie K Lukin could not bring it back!

I don't really know if the Blue Phantom can even break bread and come back either. Let's just concentrate on the task at hand.

The tag belts are now with Armadillo! And well screw that we need to show em high flyin justice!

Mj1: yo B!:you right B! We will show these fools how we do it!

Scene fades to black

[Nick Spoils]

Camera opens on Nick Spoils, standing in front of a PWA King of the Deathmatch backdrop. He is unaccompanied, but stares daggers into the camera with a seriousness even beyond his usual.

In this world, there are two kinds of people. There are the thinkers, the planners, the politicians. The people who get things done. People like Akira Wyld. Like myself. Like Brawler Beckett, Ragnarok, Gehenna, and Nakamura.

On the other side of this coin are the takers. The foils. The...victims. The losers. On this side of things, you have people like Junior Cobra, who fell prey to one of the most obvious ploys I've ever brought into being. And, if he isn't still nursing a root beer hangover, is sulking in his milk somewhere after losing the PWA Tag Team Championship to the now 3-Time Champions, Armageddon.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. If you have somehow been living under a rock, you may have missed the absolute shellacking that the not-so fierce or deadly Coldsnakes took, both mentally and physically on the last Assault. The end result of that would be, obviously, Armageddon regaining what rightfully belongs to them, to the Union.

But that's still not enough for some people. Other people on this lesser side of the coin. People like Damion Black, who remains in hiding. From deep within his protective bunker, he issues a proclamation stating that Armageddon is going to defend their titles on the very next episode of Assault after the win them back. And, like a broken record, like the man without a plan that he is, who does he select to be the first to take on the harbingers of destruction that is Armageddon?

Why, the third part of the trifecta, of course. Another pair of takers, of losers. The same team that Armageddon has defeated, not once, but twice with this same championship on the line. At Rise of Kings, Armageddon defeated Alpha Omega to become the inagural PWA Tag Team Champions. At the very next Assault -- are we seeing a pattern here? At the very next Assault, Damion Black not only stripped Armageddon of the championship unjustly, but he had them face off against Alpha Omega again. And once again, Armageddon prevailed, becoming 2-Time Champions.

And now, going back to the well again, Black in his inestimable foolishness, decides to book the exact same match a third time. Yet again, Armageddon will be facing off against Alpha Omega. Yet again, the Tag Team Championships will be on the line. And YET AGAIN, Armageddon will be your winners.

Face it, Damion. In this game of politicians and victims, you are outmatched. You have no good ideas. You try the same thing over and over again and hope for a different result. You just aren't very good at this job. No worries, though, it's a hard job. I understand. But you should understand this -- Armageddon WILL retain the titles. Union dues WILL be paid. And if you mess with us again, you won't just be a victim. You'll become the example others point to when they tell people to fall in line. No more games, Damion. When we defeat your hand-picked champions a third time, you'll stay out of the way. Or else.

The screen slowly fades to black. Nick's eyes, still piercing the camera, are the last to disappear.

[Rhett Holiday]

The camera opens to a dark room with Rhett Holiday knelt down at an alter with the familiar candle arrangement flickering in and out making shadows dance in their light. What appears to be a woman’s hand reaches from the darkness and rests on Holidays shoulder.

“No! I watched him fall! I collected and now I want what’s mine!”

Rhett never takes his eyes off the floor but is visibly angered. His body language changes as another candle goes out.

“Please, I swear he’s been taken care of! Don’t leave me!”

The hand pulls back into the shadows as the camera fades with the growling and sobs from Holiday echoing before he screams.

“Nemesis!”

[BG05]

(Tiger Fury is walking backstage at the PWA Arena just prior to the show. Fury has his gear in a black duffel bag and is stopped by Ronnie Stockholm.)

Stockholm: Tiger Fury....do you have any thoughts on your match tonight? Anything that you want to tell the fans?

(Fury pauses and sees a cameraman behind Stockholm who has just started filming. Slightly annoyed, Fury speaks.)

Fury: Ronnie Lassiter’s one tough customer! I’ve been watching this dude from afar and he’s as impressive a wrestler that I’ve seen in a LONG time. We get to meet in the King of Deathmatch finals but tonight we hook up in a tag match. Golden Fury, the BEST tag team in the world today, are together one more time! Lassiter is in the wrong place at the wrong time! All that power and aggression won’t do him any good when I punch his straight in his mouth!! Tonight I plan on giving him a taste of what’s waiting for him at the pay-per-view.....IF he makes it there.

I’ve got a match to get ready for so I’m gonna need you to move....NOW!

(Fury walks down the arena hallway and slams the door to his locker room.)

[Quillz]

***The scene opens backstage in the ‘lair’ of the FIERCE and DEADLY Coldsnakes. The air is tinged with the type of sickly green that can only come from a crumpled piece of colored cellophane taped to the end of a shake-powered flashlight sitting in the center of a walk-in utility closet. Giant Anaconda sits in the center of the room on an undersized folding chair with his shoulders slumped. After a few moments, the green light begins to flicker and fade. Anaconda looks down at the dimming light and sighs. He absently picks up the flashlight in one oversized mitt and gives it a series of halfhearted shakes, charging it until the green glow is steady once more. He gently places the light back on the floor and grumbles. After a few moments, the door to the utility closet opens slowly and Junior Cobra pokes his masked head in. Cobra carefully slips through the door, tiptoeing into the dark supply closet… and promptly knocking over a mop and bucket, sending a cascade of dirty soapy water across the floor, soaking Giant Anaconda’s massive feet. Cobra winces and looks up at Anaconda. Anaconda remains motionless and does not turn to face his partner. Cobra exhales slowly and makes a cautious walk toward his friend.***



COBRA: “Uh… hey big guy. How you doing?”



***Giant Anaconda just sits there with his shoulders slumped and does not turn to face Cobra. Cobra creeps closer to the giant wrestler.***



COBRA: “I uh… I was hoping I’d find you here. I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all week. Email, text message, smoke signal, elaborate interpretative semaphore projected over the MLB kiss cam… I’ve been worried about you man.”



***Anaconda exhales deeply and folds his gigantic arms over his oily chest.***



COBRA: “After Assault last week I went looking for you. You packed up and took off without even saying goodbye. I had to hitch back to our hotel… and when I got there you had already checked out. If I didn’t know better I’d think you were mad at me or something!”



***Anaconda rubs his temples with one large gloved hand. He turns and gives Cobra an exasperated sideways glance.***



COBRA: “Now don’t look at me like that! You think I’m happy about how Assault turned out? One minute we’re the toast of the town… and the next…”



***Cobra and Anaconda stare at each other for a long moment.***



COBRA: “Look… I’ll be the first to admit that maybe… I get a little excited sometimes. And maybe… just MAYBE… sometimes I don’t always notice stuff. I know I know… you’re always trying to tell me when stuff smells funny. You got a big brain in that head of yours you know that?”



***Anaconda sighs and rubs his head with his hand. Cobra nods and folds his arms.***



COBRA: “You uh… you know what happened to me when I got backstage? Akira Wyld led me over to a cruddy little broom closet and locked me in! I know, I know… stupid Cobra. But check this out. He told me that he was gonna go out and get some brewskis and some chicks and then he was gonna come right back and we were gonna party! He said he was gonna lock the door while he was gone so ‘none of the awesome could get out’. I mean, like I could argue with THAT kind of superbrain logic right?”



***Anaconda stares at Cobra.***



COBRA: “Ahem… ANYWAY… next thing I know, people are packing up and turning off the lights and I’m stuck in this closet. I was there until the next morning when the janitor came by to clean up!”



***Anaconda facepalms. Cobra nods vigorously and smacks his palm with his fist.***



COBRA: “You know what? Call me crazy… but I’m starting to think that the Union may have screwed us out there. Did you know Armageddon won the titles back? Where the heck were you man?”



***Anaconda briskly stands up, picks up Cobra by the shoulders, and hurls him across the room. Cobra slams into the wall and crumples into a heap on the floor. A still silence hangs over the room for several seconds… then suddenly Cobra pops to his feet and slaps his knees with his hands.***



COBRA: “Right then! I needed that. Okay big guy, you know what we’re gonna do now? You and me… the FIERCE and DEADLY Coldsnakes are gonna make those two-timing, paint-wearing, short-bus riding ass-sandwiches pay for making fools of the baddest tag-team on the planet!”



***Anaconda cocks his head and puts his hands on his hips.***

COBRA: “You and me, big guy? WE are the freakin’ meanest, deadliest, ass-kickingest mamma-jammas the world has ever seen! We’re the MOTHA-LOVIN’ Coldsnakes and NOBODY eats our lunch but us! Our names are on it, clear as day! Black sharpie on brown paper bags! Those overblown jerkwads think they can make a joke out of Junior Cobra and Giant Anaconda?! Well THEY CAN. But shortly after that the joke will be on THEM! Because… we’re going out there and TAKING OUR TITLES BACK!”



***Anaconda shakes his head and thusts a program for Saturday’s PWA Assault in Cobra’s face. He points to the announced Tag-Team Title match between Armageddon and Alpha Omega. Cobra snatches the paper and growls.***



COBRA: “What?! They can’t defend OUR titles like that! We haven’t even gotten a chance to take em’ back yet! The nerve of those guys! Well… it’s a long walk to the ring brother! And I guaran-damn-tee that the first tag-team to get their hands on Armageddon this Saturday is gonna be US! Those two stone-faced sack-lickers are gonna feel the smelly glove of RETRIBUTION, and they’re gonna do it TOMORROW NIGHT! Are you with me big man?!”



***Anaconda rubs his hands over his masked face and exhales slowly and deeply… after a moment he shrugs and flexes mightily in Cobra’s direction. Cobra shoots him a pair of vigorous finger-guns and the two masked men connect with a crisp and on-target high five high in the air.***



COBRA: “Woah… is that what that feels like? I’ve never actually connected with one of those before. It feels… righteous. This is the dawn of a new day my man. The Union is gonna RUE THE DAY that they crossed the FIERCE and DEADLY ones. Hiss….”



***Cobra rubs his stinging hand and Anaconda nods slowly as the scene fades to black.***