Promos for Assault 3/23/18

[Quillz]

***The scene opens in front of a stage, surrounded by reporters holding impractically old-fashioned cameras and microphones. A podium has been set up in the center of the stage. Junior Cobra of the FIERCE and DEADLY Coldsnakes stands at the podium looking and behaving in a very presidential manner (by 2018 standards).***



COBRA: “Thank you all for meeting with us on such short notice. I’m sure you are all wondering why I’ve called you here this afternoon.”



REPORTER 1: “No… you told us why we’re here.”



COBRA: “I did what now?”



REPORTER 1: “You uh… you said this was a casting call for a movie.”



COBRA: “…I’m not following you.”



REPORTER 2: “Yeah, uh… the flyer outside said you were casting a movie and you needed people to play reporters.”



REPORTER 3: “The instructions said to show up in ‘old-timey reporter gear’ and to gather in front of this podium.”



REPORTER 4: “The flyer also said that there would be lunch served.”



COBRA: “…the printed word is a powerful thing.”



REPORTER 1: “…”



REPORTER 2: “…”



REPORTER 3: “…”



REPORTER 4: “…”



COBRA: “WHELP… I lied. But don’t worry! You’re all here for a very special reason today that you won’t regret!”



REPORTER: “So… there’s no lunch?”



COBRA: “What? Of course there’s lunch! We’re not savages my good man!”



***From offstage, Giant Anaconda walks up with a dingy duffel bag. He reaches his sweaty mitt into the bag and pulls out several distressed zip-lock bags half-full of various lunch-meats. He tosses them enthusiastically to the crowd of ‘reporters.’***



COBRA: “There ya go lads. And of course you all saw that this party was strictly BYOB. Bring your own bread. So… ya know… sandwiches are served. You uh… you did read that part of the flyer right? You brought your own bread?”



***After several long seconds… one of the reporters sighs and reaches into his 1930’s-style trench coat and bring out a loaf of Franz white bread.***



COBRA: “There we go! All right… now, I suppose you’re all wondering why we called you hear today.”



REPORTER 1: “Well we are NOW.”



COBRA: “Right! Well, you’re all hear today to BEAR WITNESS to amazing and mighty might… of Giant Anaconda, as he prepares to seek VENGENCE on one-half of that dastardly-duo, Armageddon! After my unfortunate loss to Gehenna last week, Giant Anaconda has VOWED to rain vengeance and retribution on that bald boner by squeezing the ever-loving snot out of his tag-team partner Ragnarok!”



REPORTER 1: “Your loss last week?”



COBRA: “Can’t win ‘em all, ya feel me?”



REPORTER 1: “But… didn’t you win against Gehenna last week?”



COBRA: “Yes.”



REPORTER: “Didn’t you just… say you lost?”



COBRA: “I’m not following you.”



REPORTER 1: “…”



COBRA: “AS I WAS SAYING! Bear witness to the awe-inspiring bulk and sasquatch-like strength of a man among mice... a titan among toddlers… an ADULT DIAPER in a land of Pampers! Marvel as RIGHT HERE ON THIS VERY STAGE, Giant Anaconda will SQUEEZE the very life out of the monster-man known as RAGNAROK!”



REPORTER 1: “You… you mean Ragnarok and Anaconda are going to fight right here? Now?”



COBRA: “SORT OF! Witness, the full force and fury of the Norse Thunder… RAGNAROK!!!”



***Anaconda and Cobra both look expectantly at the right side of the stage… but nobody comes out. Cobra adjusts an imaginary tie around his neck and laughs nervously under his breath.***



COBRA: “Ahem… excuse me just a moment folks.”



***Cobra bounds off-stage and a whispered argument can be heard off-camera.***



COBRA: (whispering) “Would you get your butt OUT there? What’s the holdup?”



OFF-CAMERA VOICE: (whispering) “I… I don’t wanna! Last time you just let Anaconda beat me up! Now… now you’ve brought an audience?! I can’t do it Mr. Cobra!”



COBRA: (whispering) “Okay okay… I understand. You don’t have to go out there.”



OFF-CAMERA VOICE: (whispering) “I… I don’t?”



COBRA: (whispering) “No, no… of course not. All I’m going to need from you is… twenty bucks. You know… to cover expenses.”



OFF-CAMERA VOICE: (whispering) “…expenses?”



COBRA: (whispering) “Yeah, expenses.”



OFF-CAMERA VOICE: “…”



COBRA: (whispering) “Oh no… don’t tell me… you DON’T have twenty bucks?”



OFF-CAMERA VOICE: (whispering) “Oh man… oh… I’m so sorry Mr. Cobra, I haven’t had a chance to go to the ATM today. I can totally get it for you after lunch!”



COBRA: (whispering) “Wow… I dunno man… I mean… we kind of need it right now. You know… expenses and all.”



OFF-CAMERA VOICE: (whispering) “I am SOOO sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”



COBRA: (whispering) “Well… I suppose, if you were to just come out on stage for a minute… just to do a quick thing.”



OFF-CAMERA VOICE: (whispering) “Oh yeah, sure… anything for you! Just right out here?”



***Derrick Arzon appears on the right side of the stage, dressed in an ill-fitting red singlet and hastily applied face-paint. Cobra bounds out right after him gesticulating enthusiastically.***



COBRA: “BEHOLD!!! The mighty Ragnarok!!!”



ARZON: “Should… I just stand here? I’m not sure what you wa…”



***Giant Anaconda loudly bellows something unintelligible and dives on top of Arzon.***



ARZON: “GAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!”



***Anaconda clumsily twists Arzon into the shape of a pretzel and wraps a meaty arm around his throat.***



ARZON: “squuuuuuu-aaaallllll-kkkkk…”



***Arzon’s eyes bulge and his arms flap wildly in the air. A single reporter raises his camera and snaps a picture, the flash bulb popping brightly on the stage. Anaconda continues to squeeze an increasingly blue-faced Arzon while Cobra looks on, beaming with pride. After several more uncomfortable seconds… Cobra takes center stage, looks from the reporters to the still-squeezing Anaconda, and scratches his head.***



COBRA: “Well… this looks like it could take awhile. I suppose by now you all have all the footage you’re looking for.”



REPORTER 1: “What footage? We’re just actors… we haven’t been recording anything.”



COBRA: “Good… good… no evidence… like how ninjas do it.”



***The ‘reporters’ all glance around uncomfortably at each other while Arzon slowly… slowly goes limp and loses consciousness.***



REPORTER 1: “We… uh… we’re gonna go now okay? We don’t want to be… accessories to… anything.”



COBRA: “Yes… no witnesses… even better.”



***The ‘reporters’ shuffle uncomfortably for a few moments... then make their way to the exit. Anaconda finally lets go of Arzon and collapses unconscious to the stage, breathing heavily.***



COBRA: “Geeze big guy… we really need to work on your cardio.”



***Cobra goes over to the also-unconcious Arzon… and begins shuffling through his wallet.***



COBRA: “Bingo… ATM card. Come on Anaconda, let’s go guess ourselves a password!”



***Cobra leaps enthusiastically off the stage and runs out of the auditorium. Anaconda and Arzon continue to lie motionless as the scene fades to black.***

[Snow]

Terry Schneider catches up with Snow as he enters the arena for Assault.

TERRY: Snow, do you mind if I have a few words?

SNOW: For you, Terry, anything.

TERRY: Are you aware of the comments that Brawler Beckett made earlier this week?

SNOW: Rubbing over one of his eyes. No, what did the snake come up with this time?

TERRY: It seems that he has put a ten thousand dollar bounty for the masks of you and your partner Pantaro. And he specifically called out your opponent tonight, Jack Lane.

SNOW: Terry, I want to say that I'm shocked. But to be honest, nothing surprises me with Beckett anymore, unless he would decide to wrestle a clean match. The coward has ducked fighting me since literally day one of this company, hides behind excuses and loopholes, and wouldn't do his own dirty work if his mother was there with a rolling pin ready to beat his ass. Putting a bounty on my head is just the next phase of the coward's playbook. I have trust in the workers of PWA that they wouldn't stoop to this level. But if they do...if Jack Lane decides to go for my mask tonight? Well, I'm more than ready to fight back, against anyone and everyone. If someone, ANYONE, does decide to claim that bounty? Well, that just might light a little fire in me, if you know what I'm saying.

[BG05]

(Gary Bloomfield and a cameraman are roaming the PWA arena just prior to the start of the March 23rd Assault show. Brian Fury is in the locker room and he has just finished taping his fists when Bloomfield asks for an interview. Fury looks at Bloomfield and speaks.)

Fury: I don’t have a lot to say today, Gary. Then again, my actions have said more than any words could. Last week Akira Wyld talked a good game....and then he got beat! He’s claiming that I kicked him low but all I did was kick him in the chest and found out he had no GUTS! He and I both have a win over each other and a score to settle, which we will real soon.

Tonight I face Kevin Starr in a very important match. Starr hasn’t said much but he’s one of the strongest men that I have seen in a LONG time. He’s a master of the delayed vertical suplex and I have to make sure he doesn’t catch me with that or it could be all over for me. We’re getting close to the end of the line but make no mistake, I’m not looking past Kevin Starr for one minute. My goal is to come out on top but it’s gonna be one helluva ride!

(Fury shakes Bloomfield’s hand and starts shadow boxing as the scene fades.)

[Quillz]

***The scene opens in the upper-berth seating area of an empty PWA Arena. The overhead lights are lowered. Only the ring below is illuminated. Nemesis Rex stands in the luxury skybox that overlooks the ring from high above. He is wearing a long coat over slacks and a dress shirt. A triangular medallion with an eye in the center of it hangs around his neck. His grey hair is pulled into a neat ponytail. His weathered face looks down on the empty arena with a stern expression. His deeply-set eyes look to be deep in thought.***



NEMESIS: “For nearly 40 years I have fought in rings like this all over the world.”



***He smirks and gestures absently to the luxury skybox and the modern trappings of the arena.***



NEMESIS: “The… accommodations… have not always been quite this extravagant.”



***Nemesis Rex begins pacing along the length of the skybox, running a gloved finger along the guardrail separating the cushioned seats from the glass.***



NEMESIS: “No… the setting sometimes shifts… the stakes occasionally change… the temperament of the crowd evolves over time… but the RING… always stays the same. The canvas… the ropes… the posts… the turnbuckles. These battle-hewn constants have been my domain for longer than many of this organization’s competitors have been ALIVE. In my time I witnessed generations of combatants come and go from the squared-circle. I myself have been responsible for ending the sordid careers of more warriors than I can count.”



***He lifts his finger and rubs a layer of dust between his index finger and thumb.***



NEMESIS: “No man can escape time… and I confess that I suspected that my time as a competitor on this hallowed ground was over and done. It wasn’t until I heard that a ghost from my past was scheduled to make his return that I discovered that perhaps… I had a little more blood to shed on the canvas. Johnny Ecks… you and I each defined an ERA in Pro Wrestling SHAFT a decade ago. I represented an old guard, and you the new blood. How time changes things. In this new organization… the “PRESTIGE” Wrestling Association… we are both relics of a bygone era.”



***Nemesis Rex leans his hands heavily on the railing and stares down at the ring.***



NEMESIS: “I care not for your legacy or your ambitions Johnny Ecks. To me, you represent just one more broken career to add to the pyre. When we clashed at Assault you awoke a hunger for destruction in me that I have not felt for quite some time. How unfortunate for you. Now… the superstars of PWA will have to pay for your shortsighted folly. This week… I shall take out my wrath on Cassidy Cray. I shall send him to his enlightened end swiftly and without mercy. Next week… we shall see what fate has in store for this organization. Perhaps my hunger will be sated. But… I think not. I imagine that it will only grow and grow… until it has consumed all of PWA. Unless you think you have something to say about that. Welcome back to professional wrestling Johnny Ecks… I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.”



***Nemesis Rex turns up the collar of his coat and walks toward the skybox exit. Fade to black.***

[Rex_Camelot]

*the scene opens on a dimly lit room. A man wearing heavy fur cloak and a gold mask covering the right side of his face. He is facing to the camera's right, concealing his face*

Bokrug Manaj...
We must thank you. You were right, gravedigger, we were walking a path of decimation. We were blinded by our own divinity. But you have shown us just how easily a king can fall.

We will not make that mistake again.

We will not just defeat those who stand against us, we will crush them. We will cripple them, and assure that they will pose no threat to us.

Bokrug... You have made us desperate. You have left us with a scar, a constant reminder of how close we were to losing our identity, our perfection *Rex chuckles* Pity for you

*Rex turns to the camera, revealing the word "KING" smeared in red on his chest, and removes the mask, peeling it away like skin, revealing a deep gash from his temple down his cheek*

We don't forget, Bokrug. We don't forget, Watts. We retaliate.

And what better revenge than to dash your dreams of a championship at Rise of Kings - an event made for us! On that day, we will send you, and the rest of the PWA light heavyweight division away in shame, or in an ambulance.

PWA...
This.
Means.
War.

[JohnnyX]

****A beautiful blonde welcomes us into Pwa, her name is Shawna Hawkins****
"WELCOME fans to PWA live I'm Shawna Hawkins welcoming you this week to the show, and my guest this week is non other than the Hearththrob Kid, Johnny Ecks.
****Johnny Ecks walks into the camera shot with a cool swagger. Dressed in a very comfortable three piece suite ****
JE: "Man can you dig this suite babay girl?"
SH: "Well-" **Johnny uts his finger over her mouth.
JE: "Shhh. Child, look I know what you are gonna say, I know that you know that i know what you are gonna ask. Did you see the Nemesis Rex promo this week. And the answer of course is yes. Yes I did see that goof balls crap, and this is what I will say about that. ANYTIME! ANYWHERE! We bring the party, I will suplex you all over that ring old man, so don't talk, just bring it, Bubba!!!"

SH:"There you have it folks, Johnny Ecks has spoken. Tune in again for the upcoming episode of tonights show."

****camera fades to black*****

L