And Now, The News
Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 1:09 am
***Scene opens at the anchor's desk at PWA Headquarters, where Gary Bloomfield or others will occasionally come on to make announcements such as Tour Dates and the like. However, behind the desk is The Factor, in his chain-studded white leather jacket. The camera appears to be filming only in black and white***
PWA Announcer: "And now, The News. With, The Factor!"
FACTOR: "Thanks disembodied voice in the sky! Hello friends. Today's top story: Prestige Wrestling Association to rename its celebrated Tuesday night broadcast to "PWA Factory" after repeated weeks of the show being completely stolen by The Factor. Only the fallout of the upcoming Six Man Tag Team Championship could slow the inevitable conquest of PWA. Earlier, fans were out in the street in protest, shouting things such as "Where is The Factor?" "Give us The Factor!", and "What the hell does DIE stand for, anyway?"."
***Scene cuts to footage of Hong Kong protesters facing off against the riot police.***
FACTOR: "On that note, congratulations are in order for the members of Dinkle Igloo Excavators as they somehow managed to get out of their own way long enough to secure a trip to compete for the Six Man title! Again, congratulations are in order for the Determined Internal Examiners and their manager, Marty "One time I met Lawrence Welk and my wardrobe has never been the same!" Dinkle."
Factor: "However, there is some controversy as DIE's own Mangas the Whatever has been ducking the challenge of The Factor like Justin Bieber ducking paternity tests. What's wrong, Mangy? Scared of getting dropped on your head? ...you know I guess that's a legitimate concern, actually."
FACTOR: "Finally, at Warfare, the era of The Camp will end. They may as well call me Jason Voorhees, because I am closing them down. I will go through The Camp like dysentery. I've already shown that even two of them aren't enough to stop me. There are not enough Dominators or Flabmasters on this earth to put me down. I mean to be fair, there also aren't enough Unkindest Cuts, X-Factors, Grecoplexes, Highly Derivative Cutters or whatever it is Coldsnakes do to stop me. None of you can stop me. This is the future. I am The Factor. So I guess at Warfare, only one question will remain:"
FACTOR: "Prestige Wrestling Alliance, what do you call a Camp that is merely pure Fiction?!"
PWA Announcer: "And now, The News. With, The Factor!"
FACTOR: "Thanks disembodied voice in the sky! Hello friends. Today's top story: Prestige Wrestling Association to rename its celebrated Tuesday night broadcast to "PWA Factory" after repeated weeks of the show being completely stolen by The Factor. Only the fallout of the upcoming Six Man Tag Team Championship could slow the inevitable conquest of PWA. Earlier, fans were out in the street in protest, shouting things such as "Where is The Factor?" "Give us The Factor!", and "What the hell does DIE stand for, anyway?"."
***Scene cuts to footage of Hong Kong protesters facing off against the riot police.***
FACTOR: "On that note, congratulations are in order for the members of Dinkle Igloo Excavators as they somehow managed to get out of their own way long enough to secure a trip to compete for the Six Man title! Again, congratulations are in order for the Determined Internal Examiners and their manager, Marty "One time I met Lawrence Welk and my wardrobe has never been the same!" Dinkle."
Factor: "However, there is some controversy as DIE's own Mangas the Whatever has been ducking the challenge of The Factor like Justin Bieber ducking paternity tests. What's wrong, Mangy? Scared of getting dropped on your head? ...you know I guess that's a legitimate concern, actually."
FACTOR: "Finally, at Warfare, the era of The Camp will end. They may as well call me Jason Voorhees, because I am closing them down. I will go through The Camp like dysentery. I've already shown that even two of them aren't enough to stop me. There are not enough Dominators or Flabmasters on this earth to put me down. I mean to be fair, there also aren't enough Unkindest Cuts, X-Factors, Grecoplexes, Highly Derivative Cutters or whatever it is Coldsnakes do to stop me. None of you can stop me. This is the future. I am The Factor. So I guess at Warfare, only one question will remain:"
FACTOR: "Prestige Wrestling Alliance, what do you call a Camp that is merely pure Fiction?!"