***Scene opens to The Factor, sitting in what could be an empty warehouse. A single fluorescent light bulb hangs from a pigtail socket from the ceiling.
The Factor sits in a simple metal folding chair, shuffling a deck of cards over and over again while looking off to the side of the camera and downward slightly toward the ground. Beside him, several other decks of cards sit on a folding table***
FACTOR: "In mathematics, a Factorial of integer N - expressed as N with an exclamation point after it so you know that it's really a big deal -the the product of all possible integers less than or equal to N. What the flying spaghetti monster does that have to do with anything, I hear you ask?"
***Factor looks into the camera, sideshuffling then riffle shuffling the deck without looking at it, then holding the deck up to the camera, revealing the ace of spades with "The Factor" written inside the oversized spade***
FACTOR: "I'm getting there. Factorials often represent permutations. Fifty-two Factorial is all the ways a deck of cards can be shuffled. It amounts to... I believe eight times ten to the 68th power, give or take a few sexdecillion - a number dear to both Beckett and the Love Gloves, I'm certain.
Where was I? Oh yes. Permutations. It's been a wild ride here so far for your boy The Factor. Full of highs and lows. Miracles and misadventures."
***Factor does his shuffle trick again, this time causing the seven of diamonds to appear. Another pass of side and riffle, and it is the ace of spades once more***
FACTOR: "Obviously, I didn't fare so well against the Clown Prince of Lime and his Cohort."
***The Factor pulls one finger away from his grip on the deck, causing exactly 26 cards to fall away, revealing a joker that has Johnny Ecks and The Mysterio jAi 1 dressed up like jesters. He then tosses the rest of the deck over his shoulder as though they were cue cards, immediately picking up another deck and shuffling again***
FACTOR: "So what does any of this have to do with playing cards?!"
***Factor suddenly snaps, riffling the deck so hard the cards shoot up out of his hands and rain down all around him, as he stands up so violently as to send the folding chair skittering away even as he reaches over and upends the folding table, sending cards everywhere***
Factor: "Even a number bigger than every grain of sand on every rock in the solar system can't compare to the size of the chip I'm carrying on these shoulders right now! Go on and enjoy your title shot, Ecks! You earned it! As for me, I need a target for all this newfound aggression! Fortunately, fate has politely intervened!"
***Still staring manically into the camera, Factor rights the table, picks up four cards and slams them on the table one by one. The King of Hearts marked with a D, the King of Clubs marked with an I, the King of Diamonds marked with an E, and the King of Spades marked with an exclamation point, so that you know it is a really big deal***
FACTOR: "I never DID manage to clean out one nest of rats of vipers - no offence to the Coldsnakes - and that changes now! Factor This: Marty Dinkle has been Marty Duckle lately, and the ducking ends! I still want a piece of Marvin the Martian, but if New Recruit Sean Connery Jr. isn't afraid of a little New Caledonian on Caledonian violence, hit me up, old man! You know where to find me! So if you're a member of the Deranged Intergalactic Eels, Only One Question Remains!"
***Factor snaps his fingers, revealing the ace of spades, and drops it. The camera follows the card as it flutters down and comes to rest, covering the four kings***
FACTOR: "Which one of you can count to three?!"
***The Factor reaches up and pulls the bulb right from the hanging socket as the scene fades***Statistics: Posted by TheFactor — Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:50 am
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