COBRA: “See, this is how ya do it big guy. Ya work hard, ya entertain the fans, and then ya treat yourself with a well-deserved movie night.”
**Anaconda nods and gives Cobra a thumbs up.**
COBRA: “And lemme tell ya... we totally deserve to treat ourselves after that mega-boss performance at Assault. Those two Wyld sibs were TOUGH! Of course I shouldn’t expect anything less from clones of Akira. Tell you what, Dolly the sheep don’t got nothing on those test-tube babies. But in the end, all the fancy technical moves in the world couldn’t make up for the moxy we bring to the ring! This is the start of good things this season, A-Bomb. I can feel it in my schlong. We are totally taking this tag-team tournament. So what if it took us half an hour to beat those Wyld dillweeds. It’s not like it’s a race to a fast finish or anything. Slow and steady amirite??”
**Anaconda cocks his head and raises a finger in protest.**
COBRA: “ANYWAY... enough talkin’ shop. All I want to do tonight is veg out with my best bud and watch Coast Guard IV: The Rising Tide. I know it’s been out of theaters now for six months, but you know what? I’ve managed to avoid spoilers this whole time. You don’t know how it ends already do ya?”
**Anaconda shakes his head vigorously and holds up two fingers with one hand, while crossing his heart with the other.**
COBRA: “Good! Because after Coast Guard III ended on that massive cliff hanger, I gotta know what happens to Major Jackman and the Weekend Warriors!”
**Cobra picks up a sticky PS2 controller and presses play.**
COBRA: “Alright sweat-stain, you ready to have you gonads blasted off by two hours of spine-tingling ACTION??”
**Anaconda nods and picks up a limp slice of pizza.**
COBRA: “Then here we g...”
**Cobra pauses mid sentence and stares perplexed over his shoulder. A large man in a silver and black wrestling mask is standing directly behind the couch that the Coldsnakes are sitting on. His thick arms are folded ominously across his wide chest. Cobra and Anaconda just stare at the man for several seconds. The thrift-store clock on the wall ticks ominously.**
COBRA: “...uh, can we help you bud...?”
MASKED MAN: “...”
ANACONDA: “...”
COBRA: “...”
MASKED MAN: “Major Jackman dies in the end saving the crew from Somali pirates.”
**Cobra and Anaconda look at each other and their eyes go wide. The masked man points an ominous finger at the Coldsnakes and backs silently out of the room. Junior Cobra and Giant Anaconda just sputter soundlessly for several seconds as the stranger makes his exit. Foreboding silence enters the room as the Coldsnakes shake their heads in disbelief.**
COBRA: “.... WHAT THE FREAKIN’ HELL MAN?!”
**Anaconda buries his face in his palms and weeps.**
COBRA: “Who just freakin’ waltzes in and spoils a movie like that?! I don’t even wanna watch it now! Our whole dang evening is ruined!”
**Anaconda stands and goes to the door, looking for any sign of the masked man. The hallway is empty... except for a silver card laying in the center of the lit corridor. There is a black ‘S’ printed on the card in a fancy script font. Fade to black.**Statistics: Posted by Ameronth — Sun May 19, 2019 1:04 am
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